Too cute! As he turned to leave, one of my little girls sitting in the front turns to her friend and says “Do you think she kisses all the parents?!”. It’s another ALSO RED backpack that I had mistakenly took in my rush to get to science. The teacher asks him what he’s doing, and he responds with “I forgot to moisturize this morning” and puts even more on his face. 51. The … Instead of paying the ridiculous movie theatre prices for pop and candy, we decided to go to target to buy some stuff. Reviews: 7 [] One juror overheard saying to another.. . (classroom that no one uses) and this weird supply French teacher comes up to us and says: you shouldn’t be sitting on this ground, it’s too cold and it’s bad for your ovaries. As founder of Due Season Press and Educational Services, she has created printable curriculum resources, online courses, 5 books, the Truth for Teachers podcast, and the 40 Hour Teacher Workweek Club. This woman has done ironman triathlons, and talks about going to the YMCA at 5:00am. Only to be met with steam hot enough to burn leg hair off, and my dress being blown up to my neck around hundreds of other people. I turn to the girl next to me, and I had no idea who she was and had never talked to her before. LOL, During Christmas time, my 1st graders were writing cards for the people at a nearby nursing home. I thought I was smart enough to let it go unnoticed but I’ll never forget what my dad yelled out when he walked in. I wasn’t one for playing games during class but I was soooo bored…so I searched up Pac-Man on Google and started playing (I didn’t know what else to play). Now my friend that sat two chairs down from me was also reading Artemis at the same time as me and with a quick look to him he knew exactly what I was planning. You may unsubscribe at any time. Which isn’t awful, but then I sound it out in my head. These are the funny stories to tell. I offered to get it dry cleaned, but they said “No. I have 10 girls and 5 boys in my 2nd grade class this year. I responded by telling them, “Ok, boys and girls settle down”, no response. By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. This year, I worked with BSI [a special education program? Click here. And that’s the story of how my entire block found out that the abandoned house had new owners. Classroom Chaos: So in 8th grade I used to read during class a lot. TRUTH. Be storytellers. Well guess who raises his hand? I looked around frantically, trying to find out who I can tell, because I didn’t have any friends to tell in this class. I had finally gotten the hang of it and I was riding around the circle showing off, and my mom was like “say cheese” so I look over at her for a second and I FUCKING RAM INTO A CAR AT FULL SPEED. Evil: snicker Figures! But then suddenly I just kind of saw these jellyfish without any tentacles floating around in the water and was like “oh cool.”, The next day at school, the teacher asked us what we had done over the weekend. These are great stories! If their parents only knew how much they really tell us. Apparently junior overheard the conversation. Well, one of my kids loved that red bike. I called him to explain, and he laughed and said they had the same problem with him at home. So she messaged me at like the middle of the night telling me to answer her FaceTime call but I was at my neighbors house (which also happened to be my cousins house) so I started running out the door and my sister followed me behind and was chasing after me. After about a minute or two, I realized something was wrong. and the rest of the time she is on her phone. “You’re not supposed to be back here, let’s go back into the classroom and work on our activity,” I tell him, in my best stern “teacher voice.” This clearly didn’t faze him, and he only asked, “why can’t I be back here?” I wasn’t really sure what to tell him, so I just said “because there’s stuff back here that’s not for kids.” Still unfazed, he just smirked and proceeded to ask “what kiiiiind of stuff?” I was in a hurry to get him back into the room, and was a bit flustered, so I just said “chemicals. He told me, “I had to go to Iowa because my grandpa died and I had to be at the back and be a polar bear.” When I called the mom to share that with her, she told me that indeed, all the grandsons ages six to adult had been the pallbearers. At one point all the students were doing their assignments and on task. Things like drinking water or doing squats. Chelsea Clinton. One day, seven wrestlers come in yelling about new wrestling uniforms, and how excited they were. This was two years ago and to this day every time my sister sees the pothole she starts dying from laughter. I gave one of the boys a list– model airplane, poster to color, crossword puzzle etc… When they came back into the room he was holding several sacks. how do you transfer money?” and he did it to show me how… and then he asked for my character to teabag his and moan into the mic, and I was like a 15 year old boy, so instead… I just blocked him and took the money. When his dad came to take him home, Andre proudly says, “Daddy, I threw up all over North America AND South America!”, This one came from my then 4-year old grandson…I had promised to take him to the local ice cream shop one summer evening. Drama at my drama class: One time my drama class’s teacher had gone home sick so we were just put in a classroom with a movie to entertain us for the period when an alarm went off. And, with perfect comedic timing, he says, “It was rated RRRRR!”. Big surprise it wasn’t. If their parents only knew how much they really tell us. Little thief: When I was around four or five I was with my mom at this store buying some Christmas gifts. My teacher thought it was me. Well I called the police, closed the garage and parked myself in front of the dining room window. One thing that Chicago has plenty of is vents, and I ignored them because the ones in my city are never on. I told her what I found and we both cracked up. So, I was just jamming, being super confused on this one problem and I look up from my paper to ask my friend how to do it and EVERYONE is intensely looking back and forth between me and another girl with their fingers on their noses. Meeting British journalist Frederick Greenwood one day, Riddell mentioned that he owned a newspaper, told Greenwood its name, and offered to send him a copy. During the Christmas/holiday classroom party, a boy comes up to me with a gift bag (obviously re-used) and says: “Here teacher…my mom got this present and she didn’t want it and she called everyone in our family and they didn’t want it either so she said to just bring it to school and give it to you!”  I love how they tell the truth! (Many of these anecdotes could be incriminating, though, so anonymity is probably best!) So I’m sitting in math class where our teacher makes us put our book bags against the wall to the side of the room. Lesson learned. At first I just told my best friend, but then the whole school found out. He couldn't make it. You mean you write this stuff down?!”. Anyway, I was on a cruise ship with my grandparents, and I spot this super cute guy a couple years older than me. Now when we stand up for the pledge, he moves all the way to the back of the room away from me…. Sheesh! I’ve divided them into classic kid moments and classic parent moments (encounters with students’ parents). The prosecuting attorney in Podunkville called his first witness to the stand. Except… they used the abbreviation. In just the same way was the palace of lies built. One of the activities during the lesson was for the students to draw a dinosaur and then come up with a name for it based on the characteristics that it had. I was teaching at a Christian school at the time, and we did a week-long study of Martin Luther. The book The Day American Told the Truth says that 91 percent of those surveyed lie routinely about matters they consider trivial, and 36 percent lie about important matters; 86 percent lie regularly to parents, 75 percent to friends, 73 percent to siblings, and 69 percent to spouses. That one time I got lost: So about a year ago, I was in Phys. All the time. We had no rice or anything to save my phone so we tried laying it out to dry, not even 15 minutes later it starts down pouring destroying my phone even more. I once had a student say the exact same thing, only it wasn’t even close to funny because he is in the 10th grade. Once I realized my mistake, I screamed out “noooo”, loud enough for 50 people to look at me. I then returned the bowl to the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. What was the third thing?” O smiled and my heart sank. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I got some things from Wal-Mart and left them in my truck. One little girl had finished her drawing, labeled it, and proudly showed it to me. Than this thought comes to my mind—What if MOIRA STOLE IT? Every year at the beginning of the school year, my husband comes in and I introduce him to my Kindergarten class. 5. Literally, the whole school had filled with smoke while we’d kept super safe under our wooden desks. One child said, “It’s when you sing in church.”, Oh, I have thousands of funny storied but some of them only make some sense in my own language (Portuguese)…I´ll share some that would make sense anywhere in the world, though. Three ladies walked into a bar. 54. When I opened that, she looked up at me and told me: ‘Oh, there you are! He turned around and said to me, “I can clog… A TOILET!!! About half way to the hospital, my friend suddenly let rip the loudest, most powerful fart any of us had ever heard. Even without what I mention next, the suits look funny. 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